Episode 2

The Three Homos

December 26, 2001

Starring (in random order)

Smoker with girlfriend Chick behind the number The Headless Girl Eric Estrada The Three Homos (who will be mad at me for saying that)

Perpetrators (in order of height)

Ian Pavel Jane (not pictured because she was taking pictures.)

Starring (in random order)

Smoker with girlfriend	Chick behind the number	The Headless Girl	Eric Estrada	The Three Homos (who will be mad at me for saying that)

Perpetrators (in order of height)

Ian	Pavel	Jane (not pictured because she was taking pictures.)

The night started innocently enough at 10:30, or as innocent as anything can be that late at night involving two long-haired teenagers in a copy shop. We were running low on the posters, so we swung by to make some copies and make a few enlarged ones. After I, Pavel, demonstrated total incompetence in operating the copier (though I'd done it before several times, quite successfully) Ian forced me to ask the copy guy for assistance, which we received.

We made our copies when Jane called us. (Jane, if you don't know, is Ian's significant other.) We told her we'd meet her by her dad's place of employment. (If it seems that I'm being sketchy on the details of where one might find Ian or Jane, the reason will become obvious later on. Keep reading.) And so we drove on without incident, three bucks poorer, 30 copies richer.

We picked Jane up, and started driving around randomly, as it was already midnight and not many places stay open past midnight. We were quite at a loss of where to distribute our handywork, when we drove by the movie theater. Of course! Movies don't get out until 1am or so! We can just circle the parking lot and hand them out to everybody who walks by us.

It went quite well, at first. We handed one to three kids who were loitering about, who seemed to appreciate its humor and laughed as they walked back towards the wall which they were seemingly supporting. (Turns out, they were just leaning up against it.)
Sorry about the poor quality of some of these shots, but since my car was broken into, I had to take off some door panels, and it's quite difficult to roll down the windows in the back unless you have pliers with you, and Jane was in the back taking pictures. Note the picture above this one, and notice the torn-out air conditioner cover - that's what they tore off (successfully) trying to get to the CD player.

Most people took it quite well. Certainly, nobody got mad, although not all saw what it was at first. As we looked back, everyone either laughed or just tossed it to the ground. One asian gentleman simply refused to take one at all, and walked on rather briskly.

We pulled up to a group of girls and one guy one time. I reached out the sign expecting them to take it, but the front two girls just started laughing in a sort of disbelief. "It's a piece of paper, take it." Still they giggled. "Come on, it's not like it has anthrax on it or anything," I said. Still, they giggled stupidly. The guy driver looked at us and smiled. I mimed to the girls how to take a piece of paper, and still they just stood and giggled. Finally, the guy got tired and started walking around, laughing at us and the girls, when one of the younger girls tentatively reached out and grabbed the paper. (She's in the picture.) "Thank you! Geez, see, how hard was that? Man..." I said as I drove off.

(This is the same chick.)
Then, I sorta fucked up. I handed the poster to three guys with leather jackets. I should know by now - most people who wear leather jackets wear them because they look impressive. Most don't like their superiority in this world challenged by anyone - lest of all, Eric Estrada and a guy in a Buick.

(These are the goofy laughing chicks. Sorry if it's out of order, it's late and I got mixed up.)
We drove around a bit more, handing more out, getting some laughs, when a silver Mustang pulled past us, throwing a crumped "Homo" poster at the door. They passed around us, and a guy in all black gets out. Shit, I think, it's the guys in the leather.
He stopped by my open window. "Give me that," he said, pointing to the poster I was holding. "What are you doing? Are you an officer of the law?" As I was about to say, "What right do you have to take these," he said "Give them all to me", reached in, and grabbed them all. I was shocked - our booty! But, luckily, he just crumpled them up and tossed them back into the car. "Thanks for giving them back, man, I thought you were gunna just toss them!" I yelled to the pissed off Leather jacket guy.

We pulled out of the parking lot, when we realized these guys were following us. We went through many-a-U turn and parking lot, unnecessary lane changes and changes back, onramps and offramps when we were finally convinced that they were quite hard core in following us. (I wish I had a better picture of them. Or one at all.)
I was glad. I had my tank filled up, and I was ready to drive to Oklahoma and back while they drained their gas with their aggressive driving and the such. At one point, one of them climbed out the window, and while setting on the door was yelling something like "I'm going to kick your ass," no doubt referring to me. Had I been bloodthirsty at that moment in time, I would have bumped their shiny car with my rusty Buick, sending him toppling to his death onto the freeway 70 miles per hour below him, and their car into a creek or median. I decided not to, though.
We soon got bored and headed back to McKinney. For awhile, they had us trapped, not letting us exist. Then they must have realized that if they did that, we would never get home and they would run out of gas before doing anything to us. They released us into McKinney, where I almost lost them. I knew the square better than anyone, but I wasn't aggressive or fast enough, so they caught up. While this was going on, Ian had called his parents and informed them of the situation. They told us to go to the cops, so after I lost them, I pulled up to a cop car parked in the parking lot of the McKinney Courthouse. As I saw them turn at a light, and realize that we were next to a cop, I jumped out of the car and pointed towards the now speeding away vehicle. "Officer, those guys followed us all the way from Plano, threatening to kick our ass." We explained the situation, and he told us we probably did the right thing.

(This is the best picture of their car I have. I can't believe I didn't think to write down the license plate number, or even get a picture of those guys.)
Ian had said while we were handing out the posters, "This is easy, I would have figured I'd get embarassed or scared or something, but it's actually alot of fun." On the way to McKinney, he told me that was probably his last "You're a Homo" escapade. So, I guess now I need a new partner in crime. I'm sort of hesitant to reveal anything about Ian and Jane, as I don't want those guys to track them down. As far as me, it is the easiest thing in the world to track down my phone number and where I live, so I don't care. If they show up at the house... well, in Texas, anything is legal once they're inside. ;P

	The night started innocently enough at 10:30, or as innocent as anything can be that late at night involving two long-haired teenagers in a copy shop. We were running low on the posters, so we swung by to make some copies and make a few enlarged ones. After I, Pavel, demonstrated total incompetence in operating the copier (though I'd done it before several times, quite successfully) Ian forced me to ask the copy guy for assistance, which we received.
	We made our copies when Jane called us. (Jane, if you don't know, is Ian's significant other.) We told her we'd meet her by her dad's place of employment. (If it seems that I'm being sketchy on the details of where one might find Ian or Jane, the reason will become obvious later on. Keep reading.) And so we drove on without incident, three bucks poorer, 30 copies richer.
	We picked Jane up, and started driving around randomly, as it was already midnight and not many places stay open past midnight. We were quite at a loss of where to distribute our handywork, when we drove by the movie theater. Of course! Movies don't get out until 1am or so! We can just circle the parking lot and hand them out to everybody who walks by us.
	It went quite well, at first. We handed one to three kids who were loitering about, who seemed to appreciate its humor and laughed as they walked back towards the wall which they were seemingly supporting. (Turns out, they were just leaning up against it.) Sorry about the poor quality of some of these shots, but since my car was broken into, I had to take off some door panels, and it's quite difficult to roll down the windows in the back unless you have pliers with you, and Jane was in the back taking pictures. Note the picture above this one, and notice the torn-out air conditioner cover - that's what they tore off (successfully) trying to get to the CD player.
	Most people took it quite well. Certainly, nobody got mad, although not all saw what it was at first. As we looked back, everyone either laughed or just tossed it to the ground. One asian gentleman simply refused to take one at all, and walked on rather briskly.
	We pulled up to a group of girls and one guy one time. I reached out the sign expecting them to take it, but the front two girls just started laughing in a sort of disbelief. "It's a piece of paper, take it." Still they giggled. "Come on, it's not like it has anthrax on it or anything," I said. Still, they giggled stupidly. The guy driver looked at us and smiled. I mimed to the girls how to take a piece of paper, and still they just stood and giggled. Finally, the guy got tired and started walking around, laughing at us and the girls, when one of the younger girls tentatively reached out and grabbed the paper. (She's in the picture.) "Thank you! Geez, see, how hard was that? Man..." I said as I drove off.
	(This is the same chick.) Then, I sorta fucked up. I handed the poster to three guys with leather jackets. I should know by now - most people who wear leather jackets wear them because they look impressive. Most don't like their superiority in this world challenged by anyone - lest of all, Eric Estrada and a guy in a Buick.
	(These are the goofy laughing chicks. Sorry if it's out of order, it's late and I got mixed up.) We drove around a bit more, handing more out, getting some laughs, when a silver Mustang pulled past us, throwing a crumped "Homo" poster at the door. They passed around us, and a guy in all black gets out. Shit, I think, it's the guys in the leather. He stopped by my open window. "Give me that," he said, pointing to the poster I was holding. "What are you doing? Are you an officer of the law?" As I was about to say, "What right do you have to take these," he said "Give them all to me", reached in, and grabbed them all. I was shocked - our booty! But, luckily, he just crumpled them up and tossed them back into the car. "Thanks for giving them back, man, I thought you were gunna just toss them!" I yelled to the pissed off Leather jacket guy.
	We pulled out of the parking lot, when we realized these guys were following us. We went through many-a-U turn and parking lot, unnecessary lane changes and changes back, onramps and offramps when we were finally convinced that they were quite hard core in following us. (I wish I had a better picture of them. Or one at all.) I was glad. I had my tank filled up, and I was ready to drive to Oklahoma and back while they drained their gas with their aggressive driving and the such. At one point, one of them climbed out the window, and while setting on the door was yelling something like "I'm going to kick your ass," no doubt referring to me. Had I been bloodthirsty at that moment in time, I would have bumped their shiny car with my rusty Buick, sending him toppling to his death onto the freeway 70 miles per hour below him, and their car into a creek or median. I decided not to, though. We soon got bored and headed back to McKinney. For awhile, they had us trapped, not letting us exist. Then they must have realized that if they did that, we would never get home and they would run out of gas before doing anything to us. They released us into McKinney, where I almost lost them. I knew the square better than anyone, but I wasn't aggressive or fast enough, so they caught up. While this was going on, Ian had called his parents and informed them of the situation. They told us to go to the cops, so after I lost them, I pulled up to a cop car parked in the parking lot of the McKinney Courthouse. As I saw them turn at a light, and realize that we were next to a cop, I jumped out of the car and pointed towards the now speeding away vehicle. "Officer, those guys followed us all the way from Plano, threatening to kick our ass." We explained the situation, and he told us we probably did the right thing.
	(This is the best picture of their car I have. I can't believe I didn't think to write down the license plate number, or even get a picture of those guys.) Ian had said while we were handing out the posters, "This is easy, I would have figured I'd get embarassed or scared or something, but it's actually alot of fun." On the way to McKinney, he told me that was probably his last "You're a Homo" escapade. So, I guess now I need a new partner in crime. I'm sort of hesitant to reveal anything about Ian and Jane, as I don't want those guys to track them down. As far as me, it is the easiest thing in the world to track down my phone number and where I live, so I don't care. If they show up at the house... well, in Texas, anything is legal once they're inside. ;P